


Lies (request)

by SanderRohde



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit Angst, Gen, Monologue (mostly), References to the split, Roman and Remus’, Therapy, and also a few others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24362089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanderRohde/pseuds/SanderRohde
Summary: Prompt: Deceit angst. It wasn’t the full prompt, but it is what I was willing to write of it.One left. One stayed. One disappeared.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Dr. Emile Picani, The Dark Sides & Deceit Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Lies (request)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [A_Tomboy_Gamer on Discord](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=A_Tomboy_Gamer+on+Discord).



> Hello! Prompt is from A_Tomboy_Gamer on Discord.

Virgil. Remus. Odie. One left. One stayed. One disappeared. 

Is it any stretch of the term ‘protection’ to say that all I ever wanted to do was help? None of them understood that life is hard as well as I did. Their life is not easier than mine, I know. I am cursed to know. But they never truly understand what it is like to know. 

Virgil. Beneath the tough exterior, a lovable goof, who truly deserved the light sides. But did the lights deserve him? I wish I deserved him. But he thought I was holding him back. So he left. I wish to say so many things to him. Say that everything’s going to be ok as sweetly and semi-obliviously as Patton does. I used to do that way too often. But now, I still exist because of him. Because if he never needs me again, at least I can still be there, right? 

Remus. Truly an enigma of a shard of a form of a man. I still don’t truly know who he is or how he got into existence. I have an idea of how, actually, but I just like to think he showed up out of nowhere like the jumpscare he usually is. His life is one of fun things after fun things after fun things. I truly don’t know how he does it. And maintains being gross and annoying at the same time. But without it, I wouldn’t really know Remus. Without that base of Remusness over everything. He stays. Not because I force him to in any way. He is free to do whatever he wants most of the time, save when he needs sleep or wants to get involved in one of my plans. In which case, there has to be a level of willingness to go places. 

I never truly knew Odie. He was here one day and gone the next. Some say he got mixed around with everyone else until he wasn’t any of himself anymore, Some say he is now a hermit, living off in a cave in the Imagination Kingdom. I hold out hope he still exists, because it seemed like he was important when he did. 

And me. Just plain old Janus. Listen, E. When are you going to understand that I only exist now for them? It is a flaw I also recognized in Patton. It’s why I knew it was a thing, y’know. I exist because I know that they do, and I exist because if they need someone I can be there for them. But I can’t be there for them. I mean, it’s like your kids have all gone off to college. One of them has moved in with a group of people who used to tease him, one of them still lives in your house and you refuse to tell him to move out because he’s your only connection to the life you used to have, and one of them disappeared and never came back. You see my problem, E? 

“Yeah. You really care about them, I can tell. It’s like a wise Rebecca Sugar once wrote: ‘everything stays, but it still changes.’ I remember when I was younger meeting a guy who wore a nice quality motorcycle jacket. He was peppy, excited, happy even, to be who he was. And he loved cartoons and coffee. Then, when he was 7, when all of us were 7, he suddenly materialized again with a slightly darker motorcycle jacket, and a pair of sunglasses to cover up the bags under his eyes, the stress, the pain… he was 7. It was too young for that. From that moment on, I strove to help sides and figments like him.”

A valiant origin story to be sure, E.. I can tell you really care for them too. 

“I have to! It’s my job! But just ‘cause it’s my job doesn’t make it yours. You got that?”

Thank you E. I’ll keep that in mind. Next session, then? 

“But there’s still 10 minutes!”

I’ve already told you too much, E. 

“I can’t tell anyone even if I want to! It is therapist law not to tell anyone else anything from our sessions together! We call it Dr. patient confidentiality!”

You’re a good therapist, E. I can’t believe I didn’t go to you sooner.”

“I know, Janus. Most of the other sides and figments have come here.”

Really?

“Yeah. I wondered when you would come here, Janus. Did someone recommend you?”

Yes, actually someone recommended me. But I can’t seem to remember who it was.

**Author's Note:**

> Weather: Santigold
> 
> Ask me for access to my Ficscord! I’m Cocobian6#9325


End file.
